Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize