i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
