I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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