Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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