All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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