I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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