Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
