I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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