Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize