i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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