Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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