I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
