yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize
