fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form