Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
