margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
