White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
