pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Sext me about skeletons
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
