she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
