I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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