..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
