he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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