U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later