AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
