Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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