I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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