i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
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