All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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