i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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