Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
NoShamevember. You game?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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