you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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