I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize