Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.â€
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