He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
