so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
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i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize