someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
