i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
