ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
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we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
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I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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