You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
