Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
