I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
