She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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