So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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