Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize