guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
