mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize