Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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