Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
