My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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