she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
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So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
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I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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