It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
