Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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