we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
