Your face is a jimmy john
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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