Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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