Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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