first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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