still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
