if i died would you start the facebook group?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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