I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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