I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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