i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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