but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I am midnight drunk by noon
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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