the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
